I am writing again because an essay on pinworm infestation is probably not the lead blog I want on my page for too long. I also wanted to write about my fingernails, which can harbor the eggs of various pests...
For much of my life, biting my fingernails has always been a poor habit. I did this from age 2-3 on. People describe this as a nervous habit, and I think I can attest to that assertion. There was a time when I naturally quit biting my nails, and it was one of the most stress free times in my life. It was after I graduated from college. I was getting married, moving to Idaho, and beginning graduate school.
I noticed that I stopped biting my nails one week after graduation, when I was visiting Moscow, ID. For the first time in my life, I had to get to a drugstore and buy a nail clipper. It was kind of fun actually trimming, clipping, and filing my nails, like a real adult.
Two months later, we were 3,000 miles from where anyone knew us, our car broke down, and classes were set to begin shortly. I picked up my habit again.
I wonder how many minutes could be calculated with my fingers in my mouth over the last couple of decades. It is astounding that I contracted pinworms only twice.
About 15 months ago, I stopped biting my nails for the second time. What is significant about this time period? I was granted tenure and promoted to the next rank (Associate). Earlier I wrote about last year being one of the most over-worked of my life (only my 2nd-to-last-year of PhD was worse). However, having that sensation in the back of my conscious that says "you are fine, you cannot even lose your job!" really brings serenity into the mix.
Thirty-plus years of nail-biting has left me with some seriously deformed nails, but I think they are slowly looking more normal. But that 1-2 millimeter of white at the ends shows that I am much more sane than I used to be. Every once in a while I see the finger-stubs of a nail-biter, and I am amazed at how subtle this nervous response is. I never made a conscious decision to quit, I just quit...
If you are similarly afflicted, I guess you can check out StopBitingNails.com where they appear to be selling a cream. Maybe it puts a bad taste on the nail, making you more aware of your oral-ungual predilections. My mother tried this when I was in 2-3 apparently. She would put bitter stuff on my nails, and I kept biting them. Then she tried the hot sauce, and apparently I would be tearing up, but feverishly biting away. She told me the only thing that worked was taping tongue depressors across my elbows so that I couldn't bend my arms. Sort of the human equivalent of that dog-cone deal.
The tongue-depressor story helps pinpoint the date as well, because a tongue depressor wouldn't even work on a five year old or larger child. I cannot help but notice that what was going on in my life when I first started biting my nails -- my parents divorced. Man, I have issues. (Maybe I just had issues, perhaps I am on some kind of road to recovery.
--gh
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It probably can be a mixture of the above. People with depression (and worse mental health issues) were treated so unfairly even within the last few decades. Not only has the medications improved, but so has the acceptance for about 1/2 of our society to understand that mental health problems are really no different than any other physical issues. Twenty years ago if you said "I suffer from depression" then you run the risk of ostricizing, losing your job, and possibly your friends. Now it is not much different than someone saying "I am seeing a physical therapist because I tore my ACL last Spring." (The other 1/2 of our society might still be jerks about it, though.)
But there is something to the phrase "get over it", (or more fairly "just deal with it.") Now that we can see mental health as an extension of other health issues, then someone not seeking the proper treatment is like someone ignoring a sore back (and finding out later they had a herniated disk or something). If life hands you bad knees, get to know ibuprofen and your exercises and your physical therapist. If you are handed two personalities, seek help.
It's so awesome that you commented here. I can tell you are an awesome individual just by seeing how supportive you are on your son's blog. I'd be proud to call you "Dad" any day.
I hope the recovery from hospital visit and heart-attack-ness is going well. I am so happy that heart surgery has improved so much, but it does annoy me that people don't think its a big deal any more. Sometimes they still stop the heart, but common wisdom is "yeah, they do that all the time, get over it."
--gh
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