Video Urine Games!

FINALLY!!!


--gh


(I don't care what MCHawking thinks, "those punk a$$ b*tches from MIT" know what COOL is.)

Science, Optics and You - Powers Of 10

Uh, like if you have the time and stuff, check out this interactive Java script that shows the universe and the carbon atoms of an oak tree with just a few steps in between. It seems that quarks look like carpet from the 1970s. Also, I was hoping that the ending slide would look exactly like the first. Kind of a "Horton Hears a Hoo" sort of twist...

--gh

Email Listservs

I only belong to two email lists. One is for department chairs in my discipline, which has only 5 messages per week. Another is list for university professors in my state. Everytime the sysop sends a message, people reply with questions to him, and it gets sent to the whole list. This guy is an idiot because he does not know how to set up the "reply-to" field for his messages. But the people reading and responding are even worse.

I got this today, meant to just one guy, but sent to thousands:

David, 

Do you know of any academics who are Republicans, or Conservative?  

--[name withheld because I feel sorry for this fool], Rockhurst.

It amazes me that everyone, including most academics themselves, think that you have to be liberal or a Democrat to be in academia. It always strikes me as close-minded.

Hey, this is funny. I was appointed by the Governor's office to a state commission, and I had to "disclose" my party affiliation. It said choose "Democrat" or "Republican" and that "Independent" was not acceptable. Not acceptable?

I chose "R" because I participated in the 2000 Republican primary. I wonder what they would do if I participate in the Democratic primary on SUPERTUESDAY. At least that will be after my state senate "confirmation" hearings. I am thinking of joining the Log House Republicans!

Two of my students think it is humorous that I had to fill out a disclosure statement and they are convinced that I will perjure myself before the state senate.

--gh
(getting all political again)

"recommend"

Hawaii was nice.

I am very concerned that I have been neglecting to spell the word "recommend" correctly. I let my word processor auto-correct my mistakes, and email spell-checker catches it as well. In fact, I wrote the word in another program, spell-checked it, and am copying "recommend" here right now.

Another problem may be that I have written the word "recommend" about fifty times in the past two days. I need to stop "recommending" and stuff...

(and no, I haven't written one letter of recommendation....)
--gh

Wasting time on a Saturday again

Not sure if I can retrace how I ended up with a "Sexy Dancer" on my task bar... but here goes:

I keep thinking that I would like to get a cell phone. I also am ready to update my PDA. (Yeah, I know, machines control my life, read below...) I was also checking for my name in a search engine, because I am vain, or I enjoy seeing my name in obituaries... Getting back to a PDA and/or cell phone, I checked out http://froogle.com, then decided that that was too silly. Then I checked out the Google Answers because Google amuses me as a word, and it appears that they are taking over. (Don't they own this blog?) One of the questions led me to a L_O_N_G debate over who recorded the haunting version of "Song to a Siren" that was used in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie trailor. Somehow that lead me to a site with a small Tim Buckley RAM file of this song...

On that website was a link to the MP3Dancer. I downloaded a demo version, and now "Allison" is dancing on my toolbar to some Village Stompers! She will dance to anything, and right now seems to like the rhythm of my typing.

The Village Stompers, my favorite dixieland octet/slash/folk revival group of the 1960s....

Next I picked up my guitar and played the chords to "Sweet Child of Mine," of course I was whistling the tune because I could not remember the words (stop Laughing at me!). I busted out laughing when she changed to a slow dance to match the rhythm. I must admit that she was confused by the biography of Tesla morse code mp3.

She rocked out to this tune, recorded during my sophomore year in college. (Name that tune.)


--gh
(Now I need to find those "MC Hawking" mp3s...)

Declare war on machinery

I have always said that I will give up my computer as long as everyone else does as well. I am not a ludd-ite, but I do fear that machines will take over. No, not in the way that science fiction authors loved to write about in the 1950s and 1960s. (They don't write books about that stuff anymore, do they?)

I can't stand the way people have conditioned themselves to leap to their phones whenever it rings. It bothers me that people think 8-year-olds can program a VCR better than adults. (I can kick ANY 8-year-old's butt in a VCR programming match!) I am annoyed that some days I "interface" more with a machine, than with real people. (And my job is education...)

When making a selection at the Pepsi machine, I learned how much machines mock us. You see, if you put your money in, and make your selection, sometimes the machine starts to churn, make noise, and even mimic the sound of the plastic bottle falling down. I used to bend over and wait as soon as I made my selection. That is until I saw someone else do it and became very conscious of this little area of control that this machine is trying to wrest away from my life.

Now, each time I visit the machine I make a selection and then act like I don't care. I will not even look at the machine while it is trying to get my attention with false starts, whirring noises, etc. I now refuse to feed a dollar to the machine more than a few times. If I have to put the same dollar into a drink machine 5 times to get it to do what I want, then I really don't need a Wild Cherry Pepsi. The loss of my autonomy is not worth it.

Man, now I'm thirsty.
--gh

Trinity Southern University

This rules! All you have to do is tell Trinity Southern University that you worked really hard all of your life and you deserve a Masters or PhD! Is it accredited? Kind of, if you think that the National Association of Prior Learning Assessment Colleges is a legitimate accredited agency. (This is what you call "privately accredited.")

My favorite part is that they will actually send a transcript of the classes that you would have taken, you know, if you were like real and stuff.

This could save some time for Matt and Mark who are busy at UDub and DubU working on their M.S. degrees. (You will probably have to earn Social Science M.A. degrees, though.) Although it seems to work for 95% of their students, this guy got caught. (The joke is on Harvard!)

The "About Us!" link almost seems to be a nod and a wink. Surely this is a joke, quoted exactly:

Trinity Southern University was founded as the US extension of Recoleta University, located in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Recoleta University was a private, non-secular, liberal arts college opened in 1896 which mostly caters to wealthy Argentines and English expatriates. The University was founded by the two Catholic priest, Father's Juan Sarmineto and Guido Suipaca to provide religious training for the Franciscan order. In January of 2003 the University of Recoleta ceased to offer degrees.


--gh

Games at work may be good for you

This was pointed out to me by the Fairly Crass blogster. However, since it pertains to a previous blog on wasting time, I want to share it with my audience of 5 people.

Finally! There is support that wasting time at work makes you more productive. Read THIS from the BBC News.

--gh

We are already 5 days late, skip school, dodge work, START------>NaNoWriMo

Apparently, it is National Novel Writing Month, and YOU are already at least 5 days late!

Yeah, I think these guys are writing a 50,000+ word novel this month. Sign up now!

--gh

Calvary Chapel of Louisa? Mineral? Bumpass?

I am SERIOUS about checking out this mp3. Looks like the Calvary Chapel has removed the file. I had the forsight to copy it first!

Still too lazy to check this out? Luckily I know "embed src"...



One of their mailing addresses says Bumpass, VA (P.O. Box). Nice, and this is about 30 miles from where I went to college...

--gh

Another political test thing

Proud to fit between Ghandi and Milton Friedman:
The Political Compass.

--gh

NYSE: TYC

Hey, TYCO rules!


(I should know because I am a shareholder.)
--gh

Mr. Ehrlich, "Take the Bullet Train to Heck!"

I was beginning to think that this guy was a genius. I read his 5-part series on the future of hand-held computing. He also seems to design blue jeans but I really don't see them for sale.

Then I read his list of quotes. Actually, his collection is quite fine. Then I scrolled to the bottom and saw that he had his own quotes. That is where he lost me.

Oh, by the way, the title is not to be taken as an imperative, or exhortation, it is merely based on a quote from my favorite cartoon.

--gh

technology (r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r)

My son pointed to an object in our department office and said "Dad, what's that called again?" I expected to see him pointing to the electronic air filter. But when I realized what he was pointing at, I had a flood of mixed feelings. I was somewhat melancholy because a technological art form is being forgotten. I was a bit amused, because of all the time that I had spent with this device over a decade ago. My response was "son, that is a typewriter." "Can I try using it?" he asked.

His third sheet of paper was reminiscent of E. E. Cummings or Edward Lear.





--gh

(I just had a "hot-pocket.")

Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi (Fortune, Empress of the world)

If you are in the mood, strike up this midi file for a Carl Orff Sing-a-long:

O Fortuna   			   (O Fortune)



O Fortuna,                          O Fortune,

velut luna                          like the moon

statu variabilis,                   you are changeable,

semper crescis                      ever waxing

aut decrescis;                      and waning;

vita detestabilis                   hateful life

nunc obdurat                        first oppresses

et tunc curat                       and then soothes

ludo mentis aciem,                  as fancy takes it;

egestatem,                          poverty

potestatem                          and power

dissolvit ut glaciem.               it melts them like ice.



Sors immanis                        Fate - monstrous

et inanis,                          and empty,

rota tu volubilis,                  you whirling wheel,

status malus,                       you are malevolent,

vana salus                          well-being is in vain

semper dissolubilis,                and always fades to nothing,

obumbrata                           shadowed

et velata                           and veiled

michi quoque niteris;               you plague me too;

nunc per ludum                      now through the game

dorsum nudum                        I bring my bare back

fero tui sceleris.                  to your villainy.



Sors salutis                        Fate is against me

et virtutis                         in health

michi nunc contraria,               and virtue,

est affectus                        driven on

et defectus                         and weighted down,

semper in angaria.                  always enslaved.

Hac in hora                         So at this hour

sine mora                           without delay

corde pulsum tangite;               pluck the vibrating strings;

quod per sortem                     since Fate

sternit fortem,                     strikes down the strong man,

mecum omnes plangite!               everybody weep with me!

This blog is dedicated to my brother. He can probably sing this without looking at the lyrics!
--gh

Blogging Terra's blog, is that normal?

Hey, Terra wants you to check out her blog, then rate her CD-eating pose.

--gh

a perfect literary form...

Here's a blast haiku from the past:

11-26-00

The alter in church

  says "In remembrance of me,"

under plastic fruit.

--gh

people in general

Is this baby smoking a cigarette?

I do not know much about photography, or the visual arts in general. I really enjoyed these photographs, but wished they were in color. I did not see a link to send this street photographer any money to buy color film.

--gh

O Holy Night, the way you were meant to hear it.

I only have a few seconds before I need to teach a class, but I cannot hold this back from you.

This rendition of "O Holy Night" will move you to tears.

--gh

Mebald has been around a while...

I think this is over 5 years old, but people still comment on it.

It is Carmen's job to check on me every 3-5 years to see if I am combing over. BTW, I am back to the part on the right side thing. Forget Ginuwine... (see June 2003 archives)

Please don't comment...

--gh

Least Harm Principle suggests that Humans should eat beef not vegan.

I know that this is Corvallis, not Eugene, but it is still Oregon research. So which is it, vegan, or BEEF? Steve? Jen? Matt?

Any comments?

To follow the logic, you have to believe that the life of a cow and a mouse have equal value. I like cows and mice, so I guess I can go along with that. I have never saved a cow's life, or tried to resuscitate a cow. But many times I have sprung the traps that my secretary put out. (My mouse resuscitation of a victim of poisoning was not successful.) Hey, didn't blogger add spell check? Where is it? Did I spell resuscitate correctly?


--gh

Janus vs. a hole in the ground

Thanks to the 30-35% YTD returns of my Janus funds, I am for the first time experiencing a net gain in my investments. I am pleased that my total investing experience is outperforming the hiding of money in my mattress, or a hole in my wall.

Unfortunately, the personal bankruptcy applications have continued to sky-rocket. The yearly amount more than doubled during the 1990s, and it has not subsided. In fact, I heard that 1.6 million Americans have filed for bankruptcy in the last year. There is good news, business bankruptcy since 1999 has fallen over 6%.

On a related note, I am extremely pleased that my state's Attorney General, Jay Nixon, has filed suit against AmeriDebt for fraud. Jay Nixon has also organized the best No-Call telemarketing block list in the country. This guy is my hero.
--gh

Download your 50-Cent Ringtone here...

I seem to go through phases with *.mid files. I have always had a love/hate obsession with those little sonic jewels. I was utterly amazed by the online Midi Database's collection of files, especially Metallica. The rendition of Master of Puppets got me to change my CD from Parliament, which was on repeatedly for three weeks.

Then there are the uttlerly feckless attempts of midiality, such as this failed Wankster file:



Oh yeah... if you put that on your ring-tone you'll get stomped the first time mom calls.

--gh

Just one of those days...

Have you ever had one of those days, well...

--gh

Music hath charms to sooth the savage breast

I attended a children's piano recital on Sunday and was moved to tears three times. Two of these lacrimatious occaisions were for this tune:



--gh

File this under: "There mothers must be so proud"

Developing your beatbox might be a difficult thing to do, but I laughed my lungs out listening to these guys. Of course, Yuri, from Chicago is a GENIUS!

Listen to these and Comment if it did NOT bust you up:

Killa Kela (I spit mucous at the useless?)

Scratch Freestyle (my personal favorite)

RaHzel! (Do NOT miss this one, you have to get to the second half to hear singing and beatboxing at the same time...)

And you might remember a small duo called the Fat Boys!

--gh

More on the Jan Merks controversy

Please go to the review for Isaaks and Srivastava's book on Applied Geostatistics and find Mr. Merks bitter diatribe against geostatistics. If you are a registered Amazon.com user, please vote that his remarks were NOT helpful. (I guess I was the eleventh who thought not.)

It may be time to start blogging about Jan's evil arch-rival, Luc.
--gh

$20k for an essay that Fairly or mWarrenW could have written...

My favorite news/political magazine AND my favorite oil company (I guess?) have teamed up for an essay contest. The winners of the Shell-Economist essay contest get $20,000 for writing things like "Why Nature is Important." Sorry Mark A. , and John A., and Mike F. and Luc A., you missed your opportunity this year.

--gh

Let it be known that I will not share a table with John C. Calhoun

I try not to use the word "hate" often, but if I were to hate any historical figure, it would have to be John C. Calhoun. A "Canadien" made fun of me when I brought up the Civil War. His comment was that after studying in Alabama, he learned that the "War of Northern Aggression" is a stable dinner table conversation in the South...

I told another friend that John C. Calhoun loved slavery so much you can "see it dripping off of his face."


I know that he died in 1850 or something, but I still place most of the blame for that war on him, and President Buchanan. (Yeah, I don't care for him either.)

--gh
(P.S. sorry about being so political)

Bridge to Baghdad II

I showed the "Bridge to Baghdad" film featured on World Link TV last spring and summer in my geography class. This is the update, called Bridge to Baghdad II. My recomendation is to take an hour of your life and watch this compelling and real look at the aftermath of war.

This series goes beyond pithy remarks or politics. These are real kids, real lives, and now, without Saddam, they are free to speak their minds. One of my favorite parts is when Walid says "I can finally say this, I hate Saddam, Saddam sucks!" (In the first series, he could only say "Backstreet Boys are sucked!") My other favorite part is when Aisha states that the ministries of agriculture, education, health, etc. are all bombed and not functioning, but not one bomb fell on the Ministry of Oil. "Do you have an answer for that?" she says.

I commend Chat the Planet for their innovative approach to addressing real issues facing this world. I get tired of over-edited news stories by talking heads and professional journalists.
--gh

Jan W Merks's Reviews

Okay, it is obvious that Jan W Merks has a problem with geostatistics.

Mr. Merks, I promise that I won't use geostatistics to look for mineral deposits. Is that good enough for you?

--gh

The Smoking Gun: Archive

Oh yeah, I'd hire this guy!
--gh

Wisit -- Are you down with an English "Whodunnit" party?

Okay, just came across this and just had to comment.

Apparently, Wisit is a fake town, in Wiltshire, U.K. with a lot of crime. They promise 1960s and 1970s themed crimes, but only feature an Old Times theme.

My favorite thing is that all of these people look at least ten years older than me!

--gh

Death to Staircase Wit

Okay, I copied the three entries from the other web log that I kept. I liked the title, but it wasn't really that original. Funny thing, because the purpose of that title was to write about stuff that I wished I had thought of or said earlier. I think that is some form of irony.

I still believe in the concept of "esprit d'escalier," and even use the term. But naming a 'blog after it would be like having one named for The New York Times, Doonesbury, Calvin and Hobbes, and one of my favorites: Bring it on!. (All of these are unoriginal ideas, and they have only one or two posts...

Someday I will write about where I got the name for this blog. Yeah, it's stupid, but at least it is original...

--gh

books and stuff

I noticed a book about Web Logs in Hastings Video and Books in St. Joseph, MO. Actually, there were two. I checked Amazon this morning and counted over 15 books that tell people how to blog. Surely, there is much more that could be done, but really, 15 books on blogging?

I need to write a book on getting through life with Notepad.exe and MS Paint.

Oh, if you have bought a book about blogging, quit reading my blog...

--gh

Who knew that Google did this?

So now we can use Google Search to convert values like 0x7d3 in roman numerals!*


--gh

*(2003, if you don't know hexadecimal, or even roman numbers.)

Why is it so hard to find a bible cover?

I came to work this morning with a simple task of finding a bible cover for my wife's birthday. I thought I could find one in less than ten minutes, right before my 9:35 class started. It looked like I had it made when I saw the plethora of piñatas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H uh, covers at the Zondervan web site. However, time ran out and I did not notice that most of this selection was plastic covered neon colors, needlepoint representations of teddy bears, old churches, and the "Footprints" poem. (I've been meaning to write a tribute to that poem called "Hoofprints in the Sand" or "Pawprints in the Sand.")

After class I realized that that website doesn't sell bible covers, they just print nice pictures of them with suggested prices. My search continuted, and I am aghast at the totally tasteless bible covers that I found.

There is:

The Power of a Praying Wife, oh yeah, she'd love this boastful and tacky cover.

Jellyfish(???) bible cover, there were about seven of these colors

a reversible green and yellow cover, both of which are hideous, and

my favorite, the "Let's Roll" bible cover. Be the first on your block to put those infidels in their place with this bible cover


Here are a few ideas that I was surprised not to find:

the "My God is better than your god" bible cover

the presidential "Bring it ON!" bible cover

the Charlton Heston "Take my gun from my cold dead fingers" cover

the "Spongebob Squarepants" bible cover

and, the "Don't remove the Ten Commandments from public property" bible cover


Actually, if I could design my own bible cover, it would be a needlepoint of Moses walking a small dinosaur on a leash. That would get everyone worked up! Perhaps Moses could have a cellphone, just to mess with people's heads a bit.

--gh

Door Message

I will comply with Engrish.com's wishes and only provide a link to this gem.

--gh

Astrology for our Arab Friends!

Why is the Astrology section of the Arab Times under construction?

--gh

For the Icon Hunter

Just in case you were looking for icons.

I am trying to get used to this new laptop. Are laptops getting bigger because our laps are getting bigger? What's the difference between a laptop and a notebook? (The Moleskine notebook has changed my life. I am no Hemingway or van Gogh, but I still record notes, poems, and sketches regularly. I have no idea what a moleskine is, but it sure is a high quality notebook.)

Anyway, back to the laptop. It is a Gateway 600 series. I can get used to about anything. However, the arrows buttons are like 2/3 the width of the rest of the keys. Call me a fiddler, but I still use the keyboard instead of the mouse quite a bit. Man! (Pardon my language.)

--gh

I am the LESKO!!!

I just found this on my computer because I was getting ready to back everything up:

I vaguely remember spending several minutes cutting both of these pictures out, but I have no idea why. What is the point in mocking Mathew Lesko? Isn't he providing a valuable service to our country by encouraging the common man or woman to milk the government of grants? Previously, this was only the domain of large organizations and corporations.

--gh

Issues...

Oh, I see, you think that I interested in this article for the artistic content.

Actually, I decided to blog it because I had never heard of the word Ashmolean. How did I ever miss this?

--gh

Random screen garbage

Hey, I didn't know you could blog a pop-up window!

PDF is a crime against nature

I hate PDF files. I am not alone.

--gh

Enetation - annotations for your site

It might take a while to get this right, but I guess I will try Enetation for comments...
--gh

Riders, Residents, and Weyrs???

What's the difference between a Rider and a Resident? If you don't know, then check out these Weyrs.




--gh

Proudly mapping urine since...

Cartographers! You might be interested in this urine map of Georgia.

--gh

Beautiful:

--gh

Looking for a genuine good time? Check out the TTS Interactive Demo. I submitted the following text (from a previous 'blog):

Last night I dreamed that my brother and I had to sell vegetables by the road-side to survive. He would make the sale with 2 packages of corn, then I would come around the corner with just one more to entice the buyer with just a little more. One guy peeled out shouting at us: "you street people are all the same!"

Check out the results:

Audrey makes my work sound like Jane Austen.

Rich just sounds cool.

Each morning I believe my calculator is trying to tell me something. Today's cryptic message was captured on the scanner:


I searched for "FAFOB" and got this page, in between "fafoa" and "fafoc", of course. It took me a while to read it, but I especially liked the part that said:

fahvf fahvg fahvh fahvi fahvj
fahvk fahvl fahvm fahvn fahvo
fahvp fahvq fahvr fahvs fahvt
fahvu fahvv fahvw fahvx fahvy
fahvz fahwa fahwb fahwc fahwd

--gh

Speak and Spell for the masses...

This is to show you how much you don't know about the Russian Alphabet.

This reminds me of Speak&Spell. Here is a Windows simulator. (I did not test this.)

...which of course allowed me to stumble onto this genius who spent two years faithfully recreating Speak&Spell in a flash program. [I had to load it twice.]
--gh

MCUH! sad and unsocked
Spector sold the sock monkey...
...regretable news.

> Hi,
>
> Sorry, that sold pretty mcuh
> the first day it was in
> the gallery way back
> when the show was.
>
> Thanks for your interest.

--gh

Is it just me, or is Saturn looking a little fake lately?

--gh

I might just have to check out Spector Gallery.

Tom Carey is a genius.

It will be mine. Oh, yes...

--gh

According to Jenny Jones, I am 24% geek.

--gh

Last night I dreamed that my brother and I had to sell vegetables by the road-side to survive. He would make the sale with 2 packages of corn, then I would come around the corner with just one more to entice the buyer with just a little more. One guy peeled out shouting at us: "you street people are all the same!"

Oh yeah, and in the half-way house where we were staying, I got to sleep on a cot. Yeah, I sleep in my dreams. I remember someone in high school saying that this was impossible. Nevertheless, I wake up a lot in my dreams. When I am really tired, I lay down and go to sleep in my dreams. I don't get to sleep easily in real-life, but in my dreams, I go out like a light.

When I got up from the cot in the half-way-house, (please remember that this is a dream), I had this awesome perm!

--gh

I feel compelled to say this, because some people don't catch on quickly enough:

Bill O'Reilley is an entertainer.
Michael Moore is an entertainer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (for now, at least) is an entertainer.
Gary Coleman (for now, at least) is an entertainer.
Charlton Heston was an entertainer.
Al Franken is an entertainer.
Tinky-Winky is an entertainer.
Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. (is he still on?)
Sean Hannity is an entertainer.
Alan Combes is an entertainer.
Susan Sarandon is an entertainer.
Tom Selleck is an entertainer.
Oprah Winfrey is an entertainer.
Martin Sheen is an entertainer.
Sean Penn is an AWESOME actor.

--gh

TI-36X Solar Read-out of the Day (TI-36X SROOTD):

| Ð Ð | ¬ .

(maybe I should learn L33T...)

--gh

According to http://images.google.com/, almost everyone named Annette is a good looking person. The search is still on...

--gh

TI-36X Solar Read-out of the Day (TI-36X SROOTD):

¯ .| ¯f

I want to be an Elboid, with a link that works! (http://www.aisb.org/elbows/). For the next few days, the inspiration for me and this 'blog will be John Rehwinkel, otherwise known as "Spam," (I think).

Take a while to absorb it.

--gh

I am thinking about changing over to a new weblog. Then again, I am about to go on vacation for a few weeks.

I read a blog the other day that said "I will be gone for a few weeks, so posting might be light." Unless we are talking about Dave Barry or something, I really doubt most of the public cares...

Oh, my dog will not be on vacation, she is staying at home.

--gh

Stain resistant pants. ...genius... (good for slobs like me.) that was a haiku

--gh

Okay, not that I didn't notice it before, but I know now that I am old. Last Saturday, a gray hair was found on my son's head.

--gh

One of my favorite modern authors is Paul Theroux. Nevertheless, I fear that he would dislike me if he spent time with me. He would probably write later that I was a "pedantic fatty." My feelings are already hurt just thinking about it. Maybe he isn't my favorite author anymore...

--gh

Last night I dreamed that I was ex-communicated from the United Methodist Church. Apparently I was looking up information about hand-guns on a church computer or something. I have never been a member of the Methodist Church, and I have never shot a hand gun....


...oh yeah, another part of this dream had me convincing people to vomit up their frustrations, literally. Somehow I came across this metaphorical prophylactic to avoid the pains of life. I was able to rap people's spines with this short wooden rod to induce vomitting.

--gh

For twenty minutes my hair parted itself on the right side again. I was visiting ROTC cadets at Ft. Knox, so that might have had something to do with it.

my hair parted right.
Presently, it went right back.
...or is that "left back."

--gh

A few days back I rappelled off of a 37-foot tower. I put my life in the hands of people half my age.

I didn't die.
--gh

It's been said before, by those wiser than me. But it bears repeating:
Coke tastes better than Pepsi.
But Wild Cherry Pepsi tastes better than Cherry Coke.

--gh

The Event

It happened. It happened so quickly that I can barely remember the details of the incident. I was driving in a borrowed car.

Ginuwine was singing on this borrowed car stereo:

"Have You ever seen a thug up in the club

with a bottle turned up head

bobbing like Hell yeah"

I felt a twitch. Something was changing, but I could not put my finger on it.

"Have you ever seen a chick in the club

with a drink in the cup,

booty shaking like hell yeah"

Was Ginuwine talking to me?  I checked the mirror.

"So fresh so fly so sweet so polite so much too many

but we riding tonight"

My hair was changing.  My part, after 15 years, was
migrating.

"But it's the pimp talk daddy  ...the pimp walk

it's big pimpin' ova here playa it just starting

see we fresh w/ air ones"

My hair is now parted on the left side.  I have always thought that my part was dictated by the battle of calics, (one in the front, on the right, and one in the back, on the left.)  If I parted my hair on the right, the front looked okay, but the back risked standing up like Alfalfa.  If I parted on the left, my crown evened out okay,
but the front threatens to revolt.

What is the significance of this?  I can only guess.  After this supposedly Ginuwine-induced part change, I decided to look deeper.  Now I have learned that wear I part my hair says something about me.  According to Catherine and John Walters, I went from being sensitive to aggressive.  Quoting from this article:

"The Walters contend that people who part their hair on the right emphasize the right side of their brains and tend to be sensitive,
compassionate and good listeners. Those who take it to the left are generally more aggressive and assertive. Type A personalities. This idea was explored in a recent article in the New Yorker.



The Walters, who live in New York City, point out that of the 44 men who've been elected president of the United States, only three -- James Buchanan, Warren Harding and Ronald Reagan -- parted their hair on the right. The Walters sent their findings to Al Gore last summer. As a courtesy. Gore ignored them and continued to part his hair on the right. Bad move. He lost to leftie George W. Bush."
(http://www.hairlosstalk.com/newsletter/article102.htm)

I am part of a consipiracy.  Now that I understand my part in this, my roll will be established soon...

--gh

I thought I had something clever to say. I don't.
--gh

This collection of mug shots represents the entire reason for the existence of the Internet.

planestrainsandautomobilesismyfavoritemovie...


o F     c              e
     F i      S        c e
                    p  a
i
sa               ie  too!
     o         v
g o         o
       d  m


--gh

Yes, this is from the Pokemon 1st movie. But I think it should be part of a new Multicultural requirement in general education:

Meowth: You mean...we don't have to fight wid each other?
Clone Meowth: Meow meow meow.
Meowth:But how can I trust you? You was born different.
Clone Meowth:Meow meow
Meowth:You're right,we do have a lot in common. The same Earth, the same air, the same sky...maybe if we started looking at what's the same instead of always looking at what's different,well,who knows?


THINK ABOUT IT!

-gh

If more people heard "Particle Man" then there would be a greater understanding of They Might Be Giants.

If the Smurfs were created today, perhaps they would have incorporated more Hip-Hop culture into that little village.

Okay, I must admit that I like the first Pokemon movie. I was watching it a few years ago, and toward the end, this statement brought me out of a deep stupor: "The circumstances of one's birth is irrelavent, it's what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." This is one of my favorite quotes of all times. Of course, the credit has to go to MewTwo...

--gh

Missy Elliot is messing with me. I can't get Gossip Folks out of my head. I think that the Dixie Chicks should do a cover of Work It.

--gh

Consumer Reports helped me pick out our new lawnmower.
--gh

With all that is going on in the world, I still find myself pondering issues like:
-- Is Pentel a better pen maker than Papermate?
-- If Coke is better than Pepsi, then why is Wild Cherry Pepsi better than Cherry Coke?
-- is a push-pin a tack?

--gh

Every time I clean off my desk, it just gets cluttered again.

I compulsively keep every email that I send or receive.

I think I might be under a lot of pressure right now. Last night I was afraid to get a refill at Dairy Queen because I wanted to avoid confrontation.

On Sunday night, a Nebraskan asked me what he should draw. I told him to draw what "seventeen" would look like if it wasn't a number. This prompted him to scribble furiously. I have been accused of "staying up all night" thinking of such things, but just the opposite is true. Historically, this would be saying that my work "smells of the lamp." Okay, so sometimes my creativity does have a lampish smell to it. I keep editing previously posted weBlogs...

If I hold on to a thought for too long, I get self-conscious.

That's enough for now.

--gh

who cares what I write...
-- I care about what you read.
..or, maybe I don't.


--gh