Why is it so hard to find a bible cover?

I came to work this morning with a simple task of finding a bible cover for my wife's birthday. I thought I could find one in less than ten minutes, right before my 9:35 class started. It looked like I had it made when I saw the plethora of piñatas^H^H^H^H^H^H^H uh, covers at the Zondervan web site. However, time ran out and I did not notice that most of this selection was plastic covered neon colors, needlepoint representations of teddy bears, old churches, and the "Footprints" poem. (I've been meaning to write a tribute to that poem called "Hoofprints in the Sand" or "Pawprints in the Sand.")

After class I realized that that website doesn't sell bible covers, they just print nice pictures of them with suggested prices. My search continuted, and I am aghast at the totally tasteless bible covers that I found.

There is:

The Power of a Praying Wife, oh yeah, she'd love this boastful and tacky cover.

Jellyfish(???) bible cover, there were about seven of these colors

a reversible green and yellow cover, both of which are hideous, and

my favorite, the "Let's Roll" bible cover. Be the first on your block to put those infidels in their place with this bible cover


Here are a few ideas that I was surprised not to find:

the "My God is better than your god" bible cover

the presidential "Bring it ON!" bible cover

the Charlton Heston "Take my gun from my cold dead fingers" cover

the "Spongebob Squarepants" bible cover

and, the "Don't remove the Ten Commandments from public property" bible cover


Actually, if I could design my own bible cover, it would be a needlepoint of Moses walking a small dinosaur on a leash. That would get everyone worked up! Perhaps Moses could have a cellphone, just to mess with people's heads a bit.

--gh