Now some clam is going to call me SP.
--gh
Friday, November 05, 2004
A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant
Is there ANY chance that these clams, er... CoS kids will ever turn out okay? This picture is absolutely awesome!
Now some clam is going to call me SP.
--gh
Now some clam is going to call me SP.
--gh
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
"esta es la eleccion mas importante de nuestras vidas"
The title is a quote from Kerry in Colorado or New Mexico. Complete pandering, but I like the kind of spanish that can be translated by most Americans with at least a year of High-School Spanish. By the way, I don't agree with that statement. This is not the most important election of our lives. That's ludicrous.
I would have liked one or two more weeks before the election, I am probably in the minority there. I just don't want it to end. I guess it did not end right away in 2000, but I found that process distasteful. I also had a hard time deciding because I liked both Kerry and Bush. It was not a hold my nose and vote situation, they are both winners in my book. (I sound like a kindergarten teacher.)
I am very optimisitic about the direction of our country. A long friend told me that she voted for some republicans, probably for the first time in her life. I have another friend who seemed to vote for some democrats for the first time. They acted like they reached an epiphany when they realized that they didn't have to vote straight ticket. I love the Midwest.
Me? I voted for 9 democrats and 6 republicans. If you take out the unchallenged seats, it was 5/5, half and half. As long anticipated, I did not write in Sharpton's name. There was only two slots on my ballot that I actually worried about who won. This was my U.S. representative in congress, and the state Attorney General. Other than that, I will be satisfied with the outcome however it turns out.
Go democracy! I love the Electoral College system!
--gh
I would have liked one or two more weeks before the election, I am probably in the minority there. I just don't want it to end. I guess it did not end right away in 2000, but I found that process distasteful. I also had a hard time deciding because I liked both Kerry and Bush. It was not a hold my nose and vote situation, they are both winners in my book. (I sound like a kindergarten teacher.)
I am very optimisitic about the direction of our country. A long friend told me that she voted for some republicans, probably for the first time in her life. I have another friend who seemed to vote for some democrats for the first time. They acted like they reached an epiphany when they realized that they didn't have to vote straight ticket. I love the Midwest.
Me? I voted for 9 democrats and 6 republicans. If you take out the unchallenged seats, it was 5/5, half and half. As long anticipated, I did not write in Sharpton's name. There was only two slots on my ballot that I actually worried about who won. This was my U.S. representative in congress, and the state Attorney General. Other than that, I will be satisfied with the outcome however it turns out.
Go democracy! I love the Electoral College system!
--gh
Personality Disorder Test
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Low |
| Schizoid: | Low |
| Schizotypal: | Low |
| Antisocial: | Moderate |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | High |
| Narcissistic: | Low |
| Avoidant: | Low |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Low |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
World of Meters
Credit goes to J.S. Augustine for the identification of the World of Meters! As a geographer, I like this kind of data/information. In fact, I like this page so much I will make it a permanent link on this page, so that I can check it more often.
It said that so far, the United States has spent $3.94 billion on perfume. About once a month, I spend $2.96 +tax at Wal-Mart for a cheap spray cologne called "Cool Mist" or something. I guess I might be slightly out of norm in this area.
--gh
It said that so far, the United States has spent $3.94 billion on perfume. About once a month, I spend $2.96 +tax at Wal-Mart for a cheap spray cologne called "Cool Mist" or something. I guess I might be slightly out of norm in this area.
--gh
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Boohbah...
I have seen the threat to the Teletubbies, and it is the Boohbah. Fear the Boohbah. What is this show about? I'm not sure, actually, I just discovered it. But we have another troupe of glandularly-challenged fuzzy and brightly colored creatures that respond to colors and rainbows and sign-wave-like sounds.
According to the creators, this show is superior because it:
In other words, "we're just making this up, and toddlers are too stupid to know otherwise."
Every thirty seconds some kid chants "Boombahhhhhhhh...", is it annoying? For me it isn't. I can watch ANYTHING. And Boombah is proof.
Maybe it is too late, but this game took me three tries!
Duh!
--gh
According to the creators, this show is superior because it:
"It is intended to foster a style of active
viewing in which the things that children learn
from viewing are not determined primarily by the
content of the program, but rather by the ways
that young viewers ... engage with the program."
In other words, "we're just making this up, and toddlers are too stupid to know otherwise."
Every thirty seconds some kid chants "Boombahhhhhhhh...", is it annoying? For me it isn't. I can watch ANYTHING. And Boombah is proof.
Maybe it is too late, but this game took me three tries!
Duh!
--gh
Friday, October 22, 2004
Resume Templates
So I am writing up a resume for a grant our department is applying for. It's weird that I have to write a resume, because with tenure you would think that wouldn't come up again. But, I get it.
Usually in academia, we write a curriculum vitae which is a fancy way of saying "the more pages I fill up, the more I rule the world from my Ivory Tower!"
But, this process needs an actual resume, the short kind, like the kind normal people would want to read. Five years ago, if you started typing a resume, you were accosted by a paperclip that said something like "Dude, looks like you're-a writin' a resume" and then starts helping out. Where did that little imbecile go? I needed him!
So, I went to Microsoft's Office Templates to search for a template that fit. The one that suited me best was for Butcher/Meat Retail.
Somehow, that seems fitting.
No, not really. But I don't have the kind of career that moves around. In higher education instructional positions, moving around too much is actually a negative. That is something that administrators and faculty who cannot cope does.
My resume has to describe all of the innovative stuffs that I have done here, which looks fairly decent when you put it all together.
--gh
Usually in academia, we write a curriculum vitae which is a fancy way of saying "the more pages I fill up, the more I rule the world from my Ivory Tower!"
But, this process needs an actual resume, the short kind, like the kind normal people would want to read. Five years ago, if you started typing a resume, you were accosted by a paperclip that said something like "Dude, looks like you're-a writin' a resume" and then starts helping out. Where did that little imbecile go? I needed him!
So, I went to Microsoft's Office Templates to search for a template that fit. The one that suited me best was for Butcher/Meat Retail.
Somehow, that seems fitting.
No, not really. But I don't have the kind of career that moves around. In higher education instructional positions, moving around too much is actually a negative. That is something that administrators and faculty who cannot cope does.
My resume has to describe all of the innovative stuffs that I have done here, which looks fairly decent when you put it all together.
--gh
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Spam prose
Until my university gets their act together, I am stuck with over 70 SPAM each day. Man it is annoying. One of the IT guys told me that the solution was a $35k upgrade, and was shot down. Insane. But there is testing going on now and maybe it will get better by the end of the year.
Until then, my salvation is SpamBayes. It does a great job at catching just about anything. The Spammers out there are constantly trying to outsmart filters. Last summer, it was deliberate mispelling. (e.g. fixt hoam lone 5.3%). Knowing that this looked stupid, they then went to skipping letters or adding spaces (e.g. fix d home lo an, 5 .3%). Then at least you might think your computer is stupid. A few months ago the state-of-the-art was random words at the bottom of the email, which looked really weird. Today I found a spam message with random words, but written in white! Like someone wouldn't wonder what all the blank space was...
The words create an almost-poetry, which I thought I would share. I don't make it a habit of posting other people's work like poems, song lyrics, essays, but "Hebert" and the other financial wizards at Nokika.com did not put a copyright on this work. To complete the effect, you will need to highlight the text below.
--gh
Until then, my salvation is SpamBayes. It does a great job at catching just about anything. The Spammers out there are constantly trying to outsmart filters. Last summer, it was deliberate mispelling. (e.g. fixt hoam lone 5.3%). Knowing that this looked stupid, they then went to skipping letters or adding spaces (e.g. fix d home lo an, 5 .3%). Then at least you might think your computer is stupid. A few months ago the state-of-the-art was random words at the bottom of the email, which looked really weird. Today I found a spam message with random words, but written in white! Like someone wouldn't wonder what all the blank space was...
The words create an almost-poetry, which I thought I would share. I don't make it a habit of posting other people's work like poems, song lyrics, essays, but "Hebert" and the other financial wizards at Nokika.com did not put a copyright on this work. To complete the effect, you will need to highlight the text below.
"fosterite a gooseberry via barb,
not eqjwgs gould a of with an not qntylpgv
on or got for comic court backdrop curfew
guarantor are gruesome a with on
deviant sacral out mill it our munich firebreak
a no legislature poseur enhance are dante
leslie usaf escalate beribbon indefinite
indeterminacy? for compose in felix oiffp
out it on transmission bhutan vclyxuntk
our to not me preference itscrimea our ucxaob
hessian are of permeable Neffie
seminarian hockey us you a knuckle
on mineralogy. navel, out dinah kiva,
lloyd ldukkgj"
--gh
Monday, October 18, 2004
Newest Acquisition
I broke one of my rules today. I do not really care for garage sales (but I love pawn shops) and I don't stop on the street to rummage through garbage. This is difficult for two reasons: 1)garbage shopping runs in my family, and 90% of my LPs came from the garbage cans of Fairfax County, VA. 2)I drive a pickup truck.
However, I also have a strong urge not to accumulate needless items. But today, I could not resist the sign that said "FREE" attached to this jewel:
Does it work? Oh yeah.
(If you are curious about the wadded up tissues, you are witnessing a parenting event. One of the kids sopped up orange juice with paper towels and then discarded them on the floor. Only one kid drinks orange juice, and it is the same one that is also most likely to clean up. But obviously 90% is not really good enough for this job. Am I making a show of my parenting here? lol)
--gh
However, I also have a strong urge not to accumulate needless items. But today, I could not resist the sign that said "FREE" attached to this jewel:
Does it work? Oh yeah.
(If you are curious about the wadded up tissues, you are witnessing a parenting event. One of the kids sopped up orange juice with paper towels and then discarded them on the floor. Only one kid drinks orange juice, and it is the same one that is also most likely to clean up. But obviously 90% is not really good enough for this job. Am I making a show of my parenting here? lol)
--gh
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Port Foam
I didn't want to stay up late this evening, but I think I am forced to. I think we fed the dog a little too rich this weekend. A few hours ago, I let her out into the yard to do what I hoped would be the last of her business for the evening. It's cheap, but effective right before nighty-night.
From the yard I could see her making her famous grimace. This means that she is either about to yak-up, or make foam pour out of her hiney. The gaseous sounds eminating from the yard made it clear that the dog had diarrhea. I hate that, but I bet she hates it more.
I waited for one more "round" before I retrieved an Immodium tablet, broke it in half, and gave it to her. That stuff is usually effective. So far, it seems to be working. Funny how under this affliction you can go and go and go, and then after one small dose it all goes away. When I take it, I feel kind of dehydrated the next day, but that seems to be the only side effect. I don't know all of the dog's side effects, but I think Terra just likes to not be pitched forward in a patch of grass in the front yard foaming her port to oblivion.
So far, so good.
--gh
From the yard I could see her making her famous grimace. This means that she is either about to yak-up, or make foam pour out of her hiney. The gaseous sounds eminating from the yard made it clear that the dog had diarrhea. I hate that, but I bet she hates it more.
I waited for one more "round" before I retrieved an Immodium tablet, broke it in half, and gave it to her. That stuff is usually effective. So far, it seems to be working. Funny how under this affliction you can go and go and go, and then after one small dose it all goes away. When I take it, I feel kind of dehydrated the next day, but that seems to be the only side effect. I don't know all of the dog's side effects, but I think Terra just likes to not be pitched forward in a patch of grass in the front yard foaming her port to oblivion.
So far, so good.
--gh
umop apisdn is upside down upside down...
A few weeks ago I was in a restaurant in Jefferson City. I have eaten there several times, alone. Man, I hate eating in a restaurant by myself. This is a Denny's, or Perkins, or Country Kitchen or something, and at 7:30 pm is nearly empty. I don't really know how waitressing works, but it really annoys me that you get clumped together. I don't mind that they try to close sections down, but the hostess sat me right next to this normal looking young family with 2-3 kids. Frankly speaking, it might have been my family 10 years ago. The whole time I am walking in, this 4-year-old starts giving me the eye, and I am getting pissed off. Why do they have to stare like that? Of course, the hostess puts me right behind their booth, and this little nightmare is eyeballing me the whole time.
Fine, I think to myself. I will just sit with my back toward them and ignore them. Big mistake. If I sat facing their table, I could have given a few mean looks and most likely she would have stopped. However, with my back toward them, I could hear absolutely everything going on at their table. I ordered a coke and just started to simmer. I heard them moving silverware around. I heard the father talking to the kids in a way that was so annoying it made me want to take his fork and drive it through his face deviating his septum forcing him to snore for the rest of his life like a V8 running on 5 cylinders. (He sounded like he was showing off the fact that he was a parent talking to his kids. I can't really describe it, but some people have a way of making their family a public performance.)
On the other hand, they were not doing anything wrong at all. I was just ticked off about being seated so near them. I looked across the room and saw a guy sitting by himself eating a salad. Where was his surrogate family? Why did he have it so easy? I got so mad I got up and walked out. I don't even remember if they had brought the drink, but I didn't care. I ended up at a German restaurant in a whole room by myself eating schnitzels and several manner of sauerkraut.
A day later I was on my way home and tried to eat at a restaurant called Steak and Shake in Columbia, MO. This time the waitress was the one seating me, and sticks me next to all of these smoking customers with ashtrays all over my table. It was like eating in the Dark Ages or something. Amazing how living in a city with all smoke-free restaurants makes you so intolerant of a little pollution. I just was not in the mood for it. I used to put up with that, and now I am turning into my old man. Either that, or this particular trip put me in a foul mood. I told the waitress that I didn't smoke and didn't feel like eating around it. On my way out the door I heard her pleading with me that she could find another table.
So, walking out twice in two days. I was thinking that I turned a new chapter in my life, an assey one. But, I recovered once I got back to the 'ville.
--gh
Fine, I think to myself. I will just sit with my back toward them and ignore them. Big mistake. If I sat facing their table, I could have given a few mean looks and most likely she would have stopped. However, with my back toward them, I could hear absolutely everything going on at their table. I ordered a coke and just started to simmer. I heard them moving silverware around. I heard the father talking to the kids in a way that was so annoying it made me want to take his fork and drive it through his face deviating his septum forcing him to snore for the rest of his life like a V8 running on 5 cylinders. (He sounded like he was showing off the fact that he was a parent talking to his kids. I can't really describe it, but some people have a way of making their family a public performance.)
On the other hand, they were not doing anything wrong at all. I was just ticked off about being seated so near them. I looked across the room and saw a guy sitting by himself eating a salad. Where was his surrogate family? Why did he have it so easy? I got so mad I got up and walked out. I don't even remember if they had brought the drink, but I didn't care. I ended up at a German restaurant in a whole room by myself eating schnitzels and several manner of sauerkraut.
A day later I was on my way home and tried to eat at a restaurant called Steak and Shake in Columbia, MO. This time the waitress was the one seating me, and sticks me next to all of these smoking customers with ashtrays all over my table. It was like eating in the Dark Ages or something. Amazing how living in a city with all smoke-free restaurants makes you so intolerant of a little pollution. I just was not in the mood for it. I used to put up with that, and now I am turning into my old man. Either that, or this particular trip put me in a foul mood. I told the waitress that I didn't smoke and didn't feel like eating around it. On my way out the door I heard her pleading with me that she could find another table.
So, walking out twice in two days. I was thinking that I turned a new chapter in my life, an assey one. But, I recovered once I got back to the 'ville.
--gh
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