Guitarded II

Okay, so I have a guitar that some people only dream about. In high school I saved for over a year and was still only able to get a used Les Paul Custom. It was a good investment because it probably kept me from a lifetime of guitar acquisition.

However, I have always wanted something else to complement it. This means trying things out and it means dealing with music retailers. (For some reason, I want my next guitar to be new - not used.) I found a decent store in Jefferson City - only, I don't live in Jefferson City. I come here every two months and may or may not get a chance to visit if I am in a hurry to get home. The last time I was here, I asked to play a Fender American Deluxe Telecaster. Nice guitar. He asked me if I had an amp preference and I told him no overdrive, no reverb, no effects, and make it as clean as possible. He gave me a strange stare and said that this was the first time in 8 years that someone requested this. I began thinking I was in the wrong store. In case you are curious, the guitar played like a dream. I will go back there because the guitar was set up so well (a mark of a good store).

I also tried a Gibson CS-336. What an amazing guitar. If I ever got a semi-hollow body, it would be this one. The top is actually two bookmatched pieces of carved maple, like a real arch-top. For fifty years, Gibson has been making hollow and semi-hollow body guitars by laminating layers of wood for strength. (Gibson uses 3-ply, Epiphone uses 5.) Well, they call it laminate - I call it plywood. So the CS-336/356 is a big advancement for mass produced guitars. Oh, and the back and sides are routed out of one hunk of mahogony (thanks to modern technology no doubt). If the neck is one-piece, then the whole guitar is four pieces of wood (or three if you count the bookmatched top).

Then again, maybe the perfect antithesis of the Les Paul is the Stratocaster...

I went to two music stores on the way to Jeff City today. I don't mind telling you that one of them was the clearance center for Musician's Friend. Over $100 million goes through that place every year, so they are bound to get some returns, and not all of them are happy stories. It was kind of a sad place and I don't know if I will go back. They have a whole collection of broken guitars. There is nothing sadder than a Martin D-28 with a snapped neck. (It was still going for $300, even though it is useless in its present condition.) Some of the guitars that were in good shape were still stacked up like green beans in a can. After a while, I just left.

Then, I went to one of those guitar super-stores. You know, 20,000 square feet, and guitars all over the walls. There would have been a time when it would have impressed me, but I was somewhat apprehensive when I stepped in. I asked to play some Telecasters again and the guy starts tuning it using the 5th and 7th fret harmonics (big mistake with tempered tuning, you know, what we've been using for the last 250 years). He was acting like he had perfect pitch at first tuning it by ear (he was off). But, it was nice that I was in a sound-proof room to play, away from the 15-year-old noodling going on in the main room. None of the guitars that I played were decently set up, even the American Deluxe. What a shame. In fact, on that guitar the B-string kept going flat. He tried to blame this on my aggressive playing (which is a little offensive, also - I have a light touch). I don't have this problem with my Gibson or Martin (acoustic). This guy also tried to get me to play the guitars all distorted and with reverb. Duh....

I tried to play an ES-335, which was pretty, but useless. The action was so hign I could fit my pinky under them at the 12th fret. Also, the nut was not cut correctly or soemthing - just barely playing it made the string pop out! I left somewhat disoriented and confused by the fact that anyone could actually get a decent instrument from such a place. I must be really picky or something.

So, I must check out this music store in Jefferson City before I leave tomorrow. Otherwise I will be in a guitar-stupor for another month or so. Oh, that reminds me of a funny story. In November I had to stick around for an extra day because of an event at Osage Beach the next day. So, I spent about 4 hours in the store. I started feeling bad that I was leading this guy on - his manager kept calling him aside and giving him pointers. One of the times he came back from one of those conferences and said that if I gave him my address, he would write a letter to my wife and explain which guitar I needed for Christmas and why. It was pretty cute. Two hours later I walked back in to the store and spent 10 minutes with another salesman and bought a trumpet for several hundred dollars. (It wasn't for me.) I think the whole store thought I was schizophrenic or something.

I think I hate guitar stores...

--gh