Monday, May 30, 2005

Brown Smear

Okay, so I turned down watching the Shall We Dance movie that was rented this weekend. I started to wonder if I liked any Richard Gere movie. I do not like the poo-stain on his shoulder. So, I checked IMDB and realized that I did not like ANY of them. I considered The Jackal, since I seem to like Bruce Willis movies more. ...but, I also realized I did not like Hudson Hawk.

I considered whether I liked Julia Roberts, but noticed that she will be the voice of Charlotte on the upcoming Wilbur movie. I am reading the Spanish language version of that book, so I will withhold judgment.

-gh

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Two-Day Bachelor

Okay, the family is in Kansas for most of the weekend, and I am home alone. I had to catch up on work and stuff since I was in Jefferson City for a day and a half this week. I actually made a list, with little check off boxes to monitor my progress. I should be able to get everything done before they return late in the afternoon tomorrow. In fact, I should be so caught up that I can celebrate Memorial Day and not work on anything.

Memorial Day in this town usually starts with the American Legion on the front lawn of the county court house. I can hear the 9-gun salute from my home, but sometimes I go and watch the elderly veterans. I said 9-gun, because I think it is three old guys, shooting three times together. But I am starting to question my memory, maybe it is just two guys... ...now I got to go and see for myself on Monday!

I ended today's tasks with painting the kitchen ceiling. I took a shower and am enjoying the Big Joe Polka Show with some coke+. Big Joe Siedlik is from Omaha, Nebraska and looks like he tapes his polka episodes in a thirty-year time warp. He has this weird shirt with see-through sleeves. You can see his arm-fat jiggle when he talks. He also has a glorious (dare I say "admirable") front-butt. All I can say is if you have never watched RFD television, then you are missing out.

Jim Beam and Coke always reminds me of my mie-mau. The funniest things remind me of her. A colleague of mine (in another department) wears the cutest mie-mau outfits. I could never tell her, of course. Some one had a leather purse and I dug through it to hide a note in it, and it smelled just like her cigarette case. Of course, certain mentholated items remind me of her cigarettes. In fact, I had to change my shaving cream recently because if felt like I was shaving in her ashtray...

...speaking of shaving, I should report that things have been going well in that area. I am still using the African-American razors, and have figured out that Palmolive brushless gives me the best shave. I want to get a fairly close shave, but not so close that any of the hairs are cut below my face. My indicator is to use Aqua Velva afterwards -- and if it burns, then I shaved too close. With Palmolive, and African-American razors, it usually does not burn.

I don't like being alone. Also, how do you spell the abbreviated form of "balcheloring it?" The Internet seems to indicate a lot of people writing in blogs about how they are "baching it." Of course, to me this means to write a few inventions and brag about being a cappelmeister. Others write bach'ing it, bach-ing it, and one poor fool wrote bacheing it. But the real retards are writing "batching it." I have a fairly high tolerance (given my profession) for mispelling. But misnomers, malapropisms, and such obvious gaffes really bug me. (Remember that I decided to stop calling a girl because she jokingly wrote a note misspelling the word "psych" as SIKE. eeeejsh, it hurt typing that.)

--gh

Saturday, May 14, 2005

springishness

I watched "Friday the 13th" on american movie classics yesterday. Maybe it was the fact that they edited out the goriest parts, or the commercial interruptions - but I can't see why I was so terrified in 1980 when I watched that for the first time! I had just been given my first digital watch (LCD of course) for my birthday and I kept clicking on the light button to check the time ("aweseom!") hoping the movie would end soon. I told this to my son as we watched and he said something like: "Dad, maybe you were just retarded." Thanks, Tyler.

At work on Thursday, we celebrated the centennial. The PR office did a decent job of putting it together -- they even encouraged people to wear period dress. So, you should have seen me... no, just kidding. I just can't participate fully in stuff like that, it feels like I am lying, or in theater or something. (A discomfort I have with theater is that the whole thing is a form of lying to the audience.)

This has been one awesome kick-in-the-pants spring, garden-wise. It seems like I am getting everything in just before the next rain, etc. I took 25 feet off the south end of the garden and planted grass and fruit trees. Some day, when I sell this house, I think a few more fruit trees would encourage a faster sale, and not such a freakishly large garden. Concentrating on a smaller garden would probably improve the quality of the operation. Weeding and tilling a 70'x100' garden seemed more like a chore sometimes. Pared down to 70'x55', I could keep it respectable longer.

We've had a cool spring, so I refrained from planting corn early, in fact I just did it last week. All the early birds who planted in April are re-planting this month.